Monday, April 21, 2014

Missing him

It's been 3 weeks since I've seen Sean. I know that's not a long time, but I still have 4 weeks until he comes homes for one last visit. This has been a true test for us and as much as I don't want to move, I can't wait to wake up in his arms every morning. I want to be there when he gets home from work. I want to go to church as a family every Sunday. I want to go out on regular dates. I just want to be a family again!!! When we get there it will be a little over 7 months since this all started. At times, I really didn't think we would survive, but I know we will and we will be stronger because of it!
 
All of me loves all of him!
 
xoxoxo













Sunday, April 13, 2014

Sunday April 13, 2014

 
 
Amy and I have been walking for months now. It's usually on Tuesday and Thursday right after we drop off the kids. I have 1 hour before I need to head down to crossfit. We walk in the cold, rain, snow and sun. Lately it has been pretty nice and this was our shadow and our walk this past Thursday. I will miss this time with Amy. We talk about anything and everything as we walk and sometime run. I hope I can find running, walking, and crossfitting friends in Utah! All my friends will be sorely missed!
 
My parents took out 2 trees in their yard a few days ago and I used my dead lifting skills to help with the clean up. Sometimes it just feels good to feel strong! Excuse the face. I never can make a decent face lifting something heavy. 

 When we went to Utah we took a look at our house. This is a little nook as you come down the stairs to the basement. I want to recreate something like this in this spot. This makes me happy. I just like the look of it.
 Like I had talked about before, we went to the Woman's general meeting. These are pictures from then:


 Last night in Utah we went to Fizz. They have some fun drinks to try including the Pink Poodle which Cierra and Brooke liked.

Baby Leo's Blessing: 3 "Wayne" generations
 
 



xoxo

Quotes:)

I've never really been a quote person but as I have had my struggles in recent months, it really has helped me read them and feel better about a lot of different things. Especially the quotes I get from my church leaders which is most of them. 




Wednesday, April 9, 2014

Life Happens..

I committed to updating my blog once a week and then life happened and I haven't done it. I have had some really highs and and some super lows in the last month and I knew if I didn't write now, I would forget a lot of important stuff. This is my only journal so this is mostly for me but maybe someone else will find it a little bit interesting too.

It started about the end of February and our house had been on the market for about 4 months. It wasn't selling. We had about 50-75 people come through to look at it. It was clean and in great condition so I figured we would have no problem selling. We priced it reasonably and even dropped the price a few times. And still not one offer.(well, one but it was for about 30,000 less than we were asking) We were feeling like it was crunch time. I didn't want to lose the house we had picked out in Utah so after talking it over back and forth with Sean we decided we would rent. We would have lost money as it was, (Sean's company was picking that up but we could also use that money for a down payment on our new house) so we felt this was our best option. We hired a rental company and I posted it on my FB page. My sister shared it on hers and a friend of hers shared it on her page and within a day we had a renter. Good Renters even!!! They were very clean people and he was a landscaper by trade so we knew he would take care of the lawn. They wanted to be in the house within 2 weeks. So chaos began. Sean flew in and we started packing like crazy. We contacted the owners of the house we were buying in Utah and made an agreement that we would buy the house but rent it back to them until June so the kids could finish school here and their house would be done that they were building. Everything was falling into place and within 2 weeks we were moved in with my parents. I drove to Utah with Sean with all our stuff  to put it in a storage unit there. That was a fun drive. Just him and I and the open road! I enjoyed my weekend there but then came back to get settled into my parents house. We all adjusted rather quickly and have loved our time here with my parents. (except Socks-she made need medication!)

Back up a a few days to the last night we had in our house. We had everything packed up and ready to go and we were all feeling sad. Connor had come down and told us he didn't want to move. Of course, that broke my heart and my already fragile self almost lost it. Well, I did lose it! I could control myself. I started thinking about what was actually happening and I realized I couldn't and wouldn't make this move. Sean was getting ready to go to the store for a lock for the truck and I told myself that I would go with him and break the news that I can't do this.  Not 2 minutes after that thought came into my head, we got a knock at the door. Connor ran upstairs as we both said we didn't want to answer it. Sean and I were crying and we looked like we had been run over. I answered it anyway and there stood our dear friend, President McCombs. (he is our old stake president of our church) He had no idea the struggles we were going through but he said he was on his way to a meeting and felt like he needed to stop by. He didn't even know that it was our last night in the house. We invited him in and I just broke down in his arms. He held Sean and I as I told him that I couldn't do this. My whole life is in Washington. I have never lived anywhere else in my entire life. My parents, my sister, my friends, my house, everything that I knew were here!! He took me by the shoulders and looked me in the eye and told me that I COULD DO IT AND THAT I WOULD DO IT! At that very moment, I was released from all the negative feelings I had been having. I felt my Savior  putting his arms around me as this great man hugged me and told me it was going to be OK. I have never felt anything like it and I was so grateful that this man listened to the spirit and chose to drive to our house instead of his meeting. He saved me that day! I'm even more grateful to know that my Heavenly Father would loves me and cares for me enough to send him to our home. He also had all the kids come downstairs and we knelt in prayer as he offered the most sweet and sincere prayer I have ever heard. We all cried and hugged and felt much better. Since that day I often need to be reminded the feelings I felt that night. I still get down and I still feel like I can't do this at times but I know this is where we are suppose to be and I will forever be grateful to President McCombs for his gift to me that night.

I visited with a very close friend yesterday and she gave me some great advice. One of the things was that she encouraged me to write down all these feeling I've been having because there have been many and to remember them when the adversary tries to get at me. I needed her advice more than she knew and I'm grateful that I went to her house so I could talk to her.

Sean applied for many jobs in Washington. It wasn't for a lack of trying that he didn't get a job here. He applied for one job in Utah after we talked about the possibility. From the first email that was sent, he had a sykpe call with them a day later, they then flew him out a day or two after that and by the next week on 11-11 my life would be forever changed when he got an email with an offer attached. The way it happened so fast led me to believe we needed to be there for some reason. I don't think it sunk in until a few weeks later and even more until spring break when we went there and toured the house. I'm still in denial a little bit, but I miss Sean like crazy! We have been apart for almost 5 months with him having 3 trips here and me taking 4 trips there. I'm not going to lie. Being a single mom is hard and one of the perks of living with my parents is that I have a little extra help.  I finally have some more adults in the house.

As I listened to conference this weekend, a lot of things really hit home for me. I think the most important one was Pres. Uchtdorf's (which by the way I got to meet when we went to Utah for spring break. I took Kaylee and Brooke to the Woman's general meeting with Kim and Jessie and we ran in to him as we were going to Alan's office. He stopped and talked to us and shook our hand. He was very kind and it was an experience me or the kids will never forget. Unfortunately Cierra wasn't able to come due to getting lice and finding out about it an hour before we had to leave. That was no fun and I felt so bad for her. First time she has ever dealt with it and it was not pretty. Luckily it was cleared up quick so we could enjoy the rest of our vacation.) talk. He talked about being grateful for what we have and not dwelling on the negative. He said, "How often do we want to see the rainbow without thanking god for the rain!" It's so true. I realized that I was always focusing on the negative and not being grateful for all the wonderful things I have. I have 4 healthy children that I adore and love with all my heart. I have a husband that loves me and is so good to me. He cares about my feelings and is always looking out for what I need. He has a good job (wrong state-but it's still a great job!:)) I belong to the church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints which has forever changed my life for the better. I have a body that allows me to run and do crossfit which I love. I have learned to like vegetables which is a miracle in itself! I have a daughter who can drive which cuts down on me running around tremendously. We have a beautiful home in Syracuse (again, wrong state-Sorry, still adjusting!) that has 7 bedrooms with an office and a beautiful backyard. The church is literally in our backyard which is amazing! I have healthy parents that I love and know that I will see often. I have a sister who after battling with her weight for most of her life, has lost all her weight and feels amazing. I have too many friends to even count that I adore and look up to in so many ways. There are many  more things that I am grateful for but this post is getting way too long as it is.

I guess I will just wrap up the month of March and start fresh Sunday with new shorter posts.

-got renters for our Washington home
-bought our beautiful house in Syracuse
-went to Utah 3 times this month
-saw the Brian Regan comedian show (so funny)
-went to the delicious Tuscany's restaurant in Salt Lake twice.
-drove to Utah with the kids all by myself for spring break. Shopped for our house, visited family, went to Boondocks, Cierra started her period and got lice.(Great fun!) Made it home in 13 1/2 hours
-got in some awesome runs and crossfit workouts
-took Brooke to see Mrs. Peabody and Sherman
-dominated the kids at a few games of horse
-got an extra driver in the house
-took the kids shopping for a few fun things
-hiked the V with Sean
-enjoyed being with my parents

xoxox
Jodi